For the last several years I have been doing a particular ‘exercise’ when reading any Spiritual text or New Age book: I take notes on the core beliefs, if any, and diagram what the particular author or theory suggests are important aspects of living. This exercise actually originated from a very egotistic need: I have often received criticism for not being able to accurately describe the sphere of influence of my own theories. I walk through life absorbing or discarding information, and it has never particularly bothered me that I can no longer tell which Hindu story comes from which text, or if my views on karma are more aligned with Hindu or Buddhist views. I have always focused on the larger patterns, the overarching themes, the archetypal energies instead of the specific instance.
I am known for criticizing duality – that is – buying into the illusion of duality we experience in daily life. There is no doubt that duality exists – everything in our world is pitted against another. One of the most obvious results of living in a dualistic world is conflict, whether it be internal, external, violent or silent. Every day we perceive the manifestations of dualistic beliefs: (in general) superiority, power, judgment, abuse – (more specifically) nationalism, racism, sexism, and the age-old debate of good vs. evil. One of the core effects of dualistic thinking is the belief that there is the ‘Self’ and the ‘Other.’ The ‘Other’ takes many (if not all) forms, but the ‘Other’ can be easily recognized as anything that is not the ‘Self.’ This concept is much more easily understood than the dualistic battle that rages within.
Many Spiritual and New Age texts place an insane amount of emphasis on acceptance. The Goddess Kwan Yin is revered among many as the archetype of compassion and is one of the most popular of the so called ‘Masters.’ In almost every text analyzed, acceptance and compassion are the number one ideas or anchor points of the theory. But one must ask – what IS compassion? And should we really accept ALL as it is?
All that unfolds unfolds with purpose. Whether you are a martyr or a murderer your life contains opportunities for growth and lessons for learning. Whether you have made poor or wise choices, you will continue to be presented with more. The beauty of Free Will is the gift of choice: to choose where you go, what you do, and how you respond. Compassion is acceptance without judgment – unconditional love (per se) – and yes, it is the ideal. But does being compassionate, accepting the choices of others – mean we have to love those choices? No, it does not. Compassion is the acceptance of what IS – because the past cannot be undone and the future cannot be fully known. Compassion is standing in THIS moment and accepting the situation – standing in THIS moment and pouring forth love into every situation.
Our dualistic tendencies often conflict with the idea of compassion. While our Universe may reflect duality, there is something underneath (the thing we all yearn to know) that is not divided, that does not defer to the outer laws of Dualism. This is God, Source, the purpose of Being, the reason for existence. Humans build knowledge through experience, and our experience dictates that the world – and everything below and above it – should follow the dualistic principles we already know. But the Truth is, dualism is an illusion. Our world appears to be dualistic because through experiencing and understanding individual parts we should theoretically be able to eventually understand and experience the whole.
But instead what we often see is limited to the surface, the white man versus the black man, Western thought versus Eastern, the egoistic drive to separate into a distinct ‘Self’ that has no connection, no responsibility to the ‘Other.’ The overemphasized concept of Compassion pushes us in the right direction. But Compassion, too, can fall victim to dualistic thinking.
Sometimes when we feel within ourselves something that is not ‘right’ – we over-attempt to compensate by moving too far in the opposite direction. This is exactly what I feel the Spiritual/New Age community has done with Compassion.
Instead of addressing the imbalance that results from living in a dualistic plane, we simply shift to the opposite type of thought or action. Dualism shows us – in innumerable ways – that when opposites are combined – that is – when they COME TOGETHER WITH BALANCE – the two parts create something new, a totality of one. The yin-yang symbol is an excellent example of dualism in action. The two parts can perfectly merge – but within each part is also the seed of the ‘Other.’ Within any thing are both opposing parts – the light and the dark – the good and the evil – the ‘Self’ and the ‘Other.’
We can accept what IS as being as it should be when we move into the space of awareness where everything can be seen as a purposeful experience. This is compassion, this is acceptance. But, what happens when we completely stop differentiating between dualistic pairs – when there is no longer any right or wrong? How can perfection exist in every moment when clearly we are not perfect? The imperfection we perceive is the only illusion – the divisive force of dualism.
What seems to be the obvious answer to me is that the Self is divided just as everything else in the Universe. This means that *I* am here, typing at this computer, but there is also more to me that is intangible and perhaps even unknowable. While many may practice the art of Compassionate living, very few exercise that same compassion toward the Self. We have to accept our own imperfection as the perfect opportunity for self actualization that it is.
When exercising compassion toward the Self, the most important thing to remember is that there is purpose in all things. Everything you say and do, whether perceived as right or wrong, is a useful experience. This is logical and we see it happen all the time in more mundane experiences: do we not tell our children to ‘try harder next time’ when they fail? To truly live as a holistic being, we MUST absolutely recognize that the key to everything, the magic answer we all wish to receive, is balance. When we can accept anything and everything that occurs as purposeful, we balance our ‘selves’ with the ‘Other.’ By allowing things we perceive as ‘negative’ to exist – and even embracing them – we move farther from the egoistic Self to being a balanced, connected part of All that Is. Thus we can conclude that Compassion is an integral part of living.
Obviously my ‘problem’ is not with the idea of Compassion itself – it is with how ‘far’ we take it. As stated earlier, humans psychologically tend to swing too far to the opposing side when trying to ‘correct’ an imbalance. In response to the judgment we have placed upon one another since the beginning of time, many are now speaking out about Compassion and holistic living and philosophical and spiritual ideas are becoming more and more mainstream. This is a very good thing. But we must be careful not to swing too far when exercising compassion toward the Self. We must keep the idea of balance in the forefront of our minds. Just think of what would happen if all behaviors and thinking patterns were acceptable to the Self – there would be no motivation!
The very illusion that distorts perception and experience (dualism) becomes the supreme example of perfection. Only with both sides present and accounted for can unity and balance occur.
Within the Self – the dualistic terms are often called ‘light and dark,’ ‘good and evil,’ or more esoteric things like ‘ego’ versus ‘true self.’ The Self is divided just like the reality we experience. But there is also a reason we see the dualistic complements on their own: to learn how to use Free Will. How can we balance without seeing the imbalance? How do we know that doing ‘good’ affects the world positively without seeing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in action? As humans we will perpetually swing back and forth between our own aspects until we accept both the light and the dark as it is. Only then can we choose which direction we will move. But – you may ask – What is the point of moving in any direction at all if we should accept everything as it is? Remember, the ‘direction’ we seek is not up-down or left-right – it is BALANCE.
Today my point is that we should not just accept things and do nothing. We should accept and do ‘something.’ Every situation we perceive as being negative reflects an imbalance. What we do with that imbalance is our choice. Do we choose to accept imbalance – well, yes, we pretty much have to. But can we change that? Can we move any closer to true balance, toward holistic living in its original sense? I believe we can – but this calls for a giant step in awareness. We must be able to step back long enough to accept what is – and then step up to take action. Where we go in life is entirely up to us – should we choose to accept and learn – and to find our own inner balance – there is no limit. We are only as limited as we are imbalanced. The Universe provides frameworks from which we can learn – examine them over and over until you can see both the positive and the negative – the balance and the imbalance (as with dualism).
Wherever you feel personally out of balance, be honest with yourself about it. Accept your imbalance because it is absolutely inevitable, and there is nothing wrong with it. I am as unbalanced as you are, in unique and different ways, and this applies to all humans. (Remember Compassion!) Take a step away from your imbalance, view it as an entity of its own, find its causes and effects, whatever they may be. The path to healing is the path to balance.
